Hey. It's Vappu this weekend. It's a festival (for those of you who didn't know). And I'm going to Sweden, there's a big competition this weekend.
I don't know why, but I hate it when people have shout out loud that they're going to party. I mean, there's more to life than just partying. And I just don't understand why does it all have to be about drinking and getting drunk. I never have understood it. It makes me feel like there's something wrong with me because I'm not that into it. And people treat you like you're mental unless you don't drink. I just can't explain it.
I just feel I'm missing out something, because people don't want sober people to hang around. Why? How does it bother them? I'd like someone to explain. Thankfully I have friends who agree with me and prefer hanging out without alcoholic beverages. And besides, now that everyone is turning 18 and I'm not, they're just going go to the disco where I can't go due to my age. Fun.
Anyhow, I'm going to enjoy the trip and beautiful (hope so!) weather. Everyone have a nice weekend, I'm off to Sweden! And the title: Jonas Brothers - Hold On.
Recently I've occasionally felt really empty. One of the reasons is that everyone – and I mean everyone – is turning eighteen. And, well, guess twice who is not. I hate being born in the end of the year. Imagine being born between Christmas and New Year. Most people are born between New Year and Christmas. Well, I'm not.
I've been trying to prepare myself to this year for a long time. This is the year when everyone in my class, most of my friends, everyone is turning eighteen. It's not like I'm one of those people who like to get drunk and wasted, but still. I want to drive a car, don't want to read from every single job ad that we want our workers to be over eighteen. Screw regulations.
I just feel like I'm missing out of something. Everyone else is getting their driving licenses. I'm not. Everyone else is going to a club just enjoy and have fun because they're allowed to go there. I'm not. I mean, how am I different to the others? Why can't the regulations be like everyone born this year or something. That everyone born in 1993 would get the rights to do things at the same time. I'm just as mature as other people in my class. So why can't I drive?
It just really, really bugs me. It doesn't feel fair. I feel like a kid with everyone else. They don't have to ask for rides everywhere. They can go to the supermarket and buy a beer if they feel like it. It's just not fair.
Besides, I feel like my life is so lame anyways. I never do anything, don't go out with my friends. Maybe because I can't because I'm NOT eighteen. I still have to wait, what, eight months and five days. I feel like my life doesn't have a purpose right now. It's just basic school stuff. Graduation is next year, then I want to move to a place of my own and start living my own life. Right now I feel like my parents guard everything I do. On summer though I have at least a week that I can stay home alone, I want to do something wild. To feel alive.
Another thing might be the fact that I just watched the movie Never Been Kissed. It reminded me so much of myself. I've never had a boyfriend or a relationship and never kissed anyone. I'm not bullied or anything but still. I'm seventeen. Sometimes I feel like I want my life to change. Something new to happen.
But enough of angst now. It's spring and the weather's absolutely beautiful. It's all these stupid movies in which everything is possible and miracles happen and everything that make my life feel so worthless. Guess miracles don't happen in real life. Anyhow, this post sounds much more depressing than I mean. I just can't do anything without exaggeration.
So, to sum up, I am pretty happy with my life. And the title: Selena Gomez & The Scene - Who Says
I love it. The lyrics speak to me. Not in the way that someone's mean to me and bullies me, but in the way that you make your life perfect if you want it to be so. And I love the video.
I wouldn't want to be anybody else.
I’m no beauty queen, I’m just beautiful me.
You’ve got every right to a beautiful life.
Who says you’re not perfect, who says you’re not worth it?
Who says you’re not pretty, who says you’re not beautiful?
Here's a couple of pictures (weheartit.com) that I felt like sharing.
Well, this week has been quite basic. Some school, practice and so. But, maybe a slightly closer look would do.
Monday: Monday was a short day in school, only three hours (love it). I didn't do anything special: watched Brokeback Mountain for the first time ever (another classic I've wanted to see for a long time but somehow never did), went running and that's pretty much it.
Tuesday: Long day at school (til 16.00). Later we had practice – which was perfectly awesome, by the way – and surprise surprise watched TV. I've been watching Event with my mom now that it recently started here.
Wednesday: Again, school from eight to four. Sucks. I was really tired and just did nothing.
Thursday: Once more, school from eight to four. Practice in the evening. We cycled there, for the first time this spring. The snow's finally melting, thank god! There's only snow in the forest now.
Friday, i.e. today: School from ten to 11.15 (again, love it!!). Then I came home, my grandparents came over and my grandma cut my hair. Then I went to the city centre, had a job interview there. Then I came home and went running, and for the rest of the day just enjoyed life.
Saturday, i.e. tomorrow: Nothing's up. Have no clue what I'm going to do. Nothing much. Maybe go shopping for new running shoes.
Sunday: First competition of the season. Can't wait! I'll let you know how it was when I have time – I'm working again for three days next week – and so.
Well, that was it and I have nothing else to say this time. Have fun!
This, I must admit, won't be too long a post. As there's nothing in my bag. I'm not one of those people who really use bags anyways. I've got one gray bag I use whenever I go somewhere public.
At school (and no, I don't count school as public...) I use a rucksack. I'm much more of a rucksack-person anyways. They're much more comfortable than bags. But as in to the topic, in my rucksack I have a pencil case, calendar and a calculator. And my keys. So nothing much there. Sorry to disappoint you.
Nothing much going on right now. I watched this movie called "John Tucker Must Die" today. Not really that great, but I remembered how much I love Penn Badgley. Well, more of his character in Gossip Girl. But still. I'm in a really dreamy mood right now, I feel like anything could happen. Anyways, I'm busy so I got to rush. Hope my next post will be slightly more informative. Got an exam tomorrow, wish me luck!
