Sunday, 24 April 2011

I’m no beauty queen, I’m just beautiful me

Hey people. It's been a while. Again.

Recently I've occasionally felt really empty. One of the reasons is that everyone – and I mean everyone – is turning eighteen. And, well, guess twice who is not. I hate being born in the end of the year. Imagine being born between Christmas and New Year. Most people are born between New Year and Christmas. Well, I'm not.

I've been trying to prepare myself to this year for a long time. This is the year when everyone in my class, most of my friends, everyone is turning eighteen. It's not like I'm one of those people who like to get drunk and wasted, but still. I want to drive a car, don't want to read from every single job ad that we want our workers to be over eighteen. Screw regulations.

I just feel like I'm missing out of something. Everyone else is getting their driving licenses. I'm not. Everyone else is going to a club just enjoy and have fun because they're allowed to go there. I'm not. I mean, how am I different to the others? Why can't the regulations be like everyone born this year or something. That everyone born in 1993 would get the rights to do things at the same time. I'm just as mature as other people in my class. So why can't I drive?

It just really, really bugs me. It doesn't feel fair. I feel like a kid with everyone else. They don't have to ask for rides everywhere. They can go to the supermarket and buy a beer if they feel like it. It's just not fair.

Besides, I feel like my life is so lame anyways. I never do anything, don't go out with my friends. Maybe because I can't because I'm NOT eighteen. I still have to wait, what, eight months and five days. I feel like my life doesn't have a purpose right now. It's just basic school stuff. Graduation is next year, then I want to move to a place of my own and start living my own life. Right now I feel like my parents guard everything I do. On summer though I have at least a week that I can stay home alone, I want to do something wild. To feel alive.

Another thing might be the fact that I just watched the movie Never Been Kissed. It reminded me so much of myself. I've never had a boyfriend or a relationship and never kissed anyone. I'm not bullied or anything but still. I'm seventeen. Sometimes I feel like I want my life to change. Something new to happen.

But enough of angst now. It's spring and the weather's absolutely beautiful. It's all these stupid movies in which everything is possible and miracles happen and everything that make my life feel so worthless. Guess miracles don't happen in real life. Anyhow, this post sounds much more depressing than I mean. I just can't do anything without exaggeration.

So, to sum up, I am pretty happy with my life. And the title: Selena Gomez & The Scene - Who Says

I love it. The lyrics speak to me. Not in the way that someone's mean to me and bullies me, but in the way that you make your life perfect if you want it to be so. And I love the video.

I wouldn't want to be anybody else.
I’m no beauty queen, I’m just beautiful me.
You’ve got every right to a beautiful life.
Who says you’re not perfect, who says you’re not worth it?
Who says you’re not pretty, who says you’re not beautiful?

Here's a couple of pictures ( that I felt like sharing.

P.S. I. Want. To. Travel.

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