Wednesday, 5 January 2011

Watch the world behind a window pane - that's not real to me

Ladies and gentlemen, happy new year 2011! Sophia is back from the dead. For good. For now, at least.

Anyhow, I had a wonderful Christmas in the Winter Wonderland (aka snow!!), and a fun New Year's Eve even though my friends were home. Quite a bit has been going on and I've been dying to write about everything, and now I finally found time. Been busy since I got back. So here we go.

Well, not much to tell from the trip to Winter Wonderland. Lots of snow and eating. That's that.
Yesterday I went to a world premiere of a movie. It wasn't as cool as it sounds, we had free tickets. So you can imagine. They gave and sold 6000 tickets all together. And the movie wasn't that good anyway.
But today was a different story. I went to see Love and Other Drugs. And I liked it. I think it was amazing how they described the disease and how, in the end, it doesn't matter. So I liked it. And to avoid going too deep analysing this, I have to mention that Jake Gyllenhaal is gorgeous. Too bad he's, what, 13 years older than me. Otherwise: yes please!

Anyhow, back to business. Writing about something that's been on my mind.
Like I wrote before, I was working before Christmas. So there was this guy who, I was sure, was an old neighbour of mine. They moved out like over five years ago. And don't take it wrong, he was this kind of a metal-music-fan -person, you could tell by the way he dressed, so not exactly my type. Then I saw this list with all the workers' names and I saw a familiar name there. But, typically, I didn't say anything. Not really my thing to go to strangers like that.

Anyhow, yesterday I had a friend request from him in Facebook yesterday. I wondered whether he had recognised me too, and accepted. Well today he started talking to me in Facebook-chat. It wasn't much, just a few words about how's life and what we study and where we live. Not much.
But I had a point in this story, and it comes here. Haven't you ever felt happy when you get a random friend request. Like that someone actually remembers you, and you're not just an empty face in the crowd. Like you matter. Not really too much, but it gives a nice feeling that you've been someone to someone. It only happens with these kind of "random" requests. Well that was pretty much it.

Another thing I've been thinking lately has actually been none other but life. Who I am and what do I think of my life and how I feel about it. It's a new year and a great opportunity to start something new, or even all over again. And I've been thinking about myself, what do I do or don't do, and what do these actions tell about me. And I thought I could share some of these things with you. These are totally random but don't laugh.

First, I'm actually not that much of a social person. Or I don't know. I enjoy being home alone and watching romantic comedies from TV or reading a book. I enjoy time alone, and I don't need much of friends' company. I don't understand why should I meet someone every day and do something. I talk with people in Facebook-chat very rarely. I have nothing to talk about with the people I see in school, because I've already talked with them earlier in school. I can't think of anything to talk about with these people I know and say hi to when I see them, but not much more. I don't comment things, I just like them. Lame, but I never know what to say. I have to think for a long time to figure out a good comment.

Which actually leads to the next point. I have realised, to my irritation, that I'm slightly perfectionist. I want people to see me funny and easy-going, though I actually have a weird sense of humour (which often includes these little comments and dissing (if you know what I mean), but not in a mean way) and I stress about the dummest things. But after all, that's me, and if someone's not okay with that, it's their loss. I have a bunch of good friends in school and outside. It takes time for me to trust people, and I want to feel comfortable around my friends. I want to be sure they actually want to be with me before I can completely relax. I don't know where that comes from. I still keep a lot of things to myself. I don't go sharing my secrets with people. I prefer keeping them to myself.

Third point I have here has also something to do with this myself-thing. I'm seriously not these hugging (and definitely not kissing!) people. I don't hug people. It's just not me. It doesn't mean that I don't care or I'm better than others, but hugging doesn't suit me. I mean, I hug someone if they hug me first, but otherwise... Nah.

But, as I couldn't figure out a good ending to this post, I'll just leave it open. Maybe I'll continue being deep (yes, in my standards this is deep) some other time. And the title. It reflects my feelings and thoughts right now. It makes you think. What you want from life. I can say that I don't want a husband and three children and a villa. I have no intentions getting married. And this doesn't mean I don't want someone to live with, but I prefer cohabitation. I'm not religious, at all, and I think marriage is, after all, a Christian ceremony. Not for me. I want children, two or three would be nice. I don't need a villa, I'd be perfectly happy with a row house, and paying rent. I want to live in the city. I have no idea what or where I want to study (okay, I have an idea: maths, physics or languages, maybe, and yes, I've been thinking of being a teacher). And this became an exceptionally long explanation of the title. So I'll stop now. (But listen to the lyrics!! And think for a while.)
Brian McFadden - Real To Me

P.S. Because it's now 2011, it's time to renew the design of this blog. Something new at least. Let's see what I come up with.
P.P.S. I came across with this picture. Check it out. I just thought it's amazing.

P.P.P.S. Growing old is inevitable. Growing up is optional.

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